The waiting game and the game of uncertainty.

Two of the hardest games someone unwillingly plays, especially if you are totally impatient like myself and want instant answers or are unfamiliar with something.

Mom’s biopsy was pushed to Wednesday with a 7:30am start time. We changed up some of her meds tonight and added a new one in.

This one came frightening looking from CVS in a large jar. Even the pharmacist was hesitant about handing it over to us which made us all think it’s something none of us should be consuming. This new med is something to try and lower her potassium levels in her because they are still shooting through the roof and we’re not sure why.

Crossing our fingers that her levels lower and we can actually have the biopsy.

Mom spent an exhaustingly long day in the city with many unanswered questions that we won’t have answers to until these results come back. Her liver doctor is hoping that something was missed in Friday’s doppler (the scan of the vessels to her liver) and that it’s a fix they can go inside her and repair.

Until tomorrow or until she is cleared for the biopsy, we play the waiting game. We have to find out why her liver numbers are so off and why she is feeling how she is. If her numbers go any wonkier, we have talked about admittance back to Sinai.

This has been the most emotionally overwhelming week for all of us thus far. Simple things that normally go right, have gone wrong. Nothing has been easy and we continue to fight an uphill battle. We are tired, no one is sleeping and appetites are at an all time low. Most of us can’t be in a room together without crying and I can’t help but feel like the bad guy at all angles from always casting that dark cloud of information or news or new restrictions we have.

Our lives have changed everyday by the minute over the past 6 days, from one phone call to the next. I am convinced that the amount of time I have spent on my phone has actually broken my phone. (Another small thing gone wrong which would be trivial except I ordered the expedited replacement last week and it’s still not here… yay!) So if you have texted me and I have not responded, it’s simply because I can’t at the moment. I will respond when my phone works or when the new one finally comes, please call me if it’s something pertinent.

Timing for everything is absolute dog shit as always but we’re working with what we got.

I always talk about this and touch on it but I can’t thank everyone enough for all the love you send us. From comments, to texts and calls, the support is just, incredible.

Continue sending good vibes, juju, anything positive our way.

xoxo

nell